The Pity Party

I wonder sometimes why people feel it's necessary to put all their personal business out into the universe on Facebook.

I so wish, when things turn sour, folks would avoid the pity party where they blame others, and pat themselves on the back for being strong. They need only acknowledge their part as a misstep. Try to learn the lesson intended. Acknowledge everyone goes through the same setbacks.

I'm not a cold person. But dishing out daily doses of pity is not my calling. It's monotonous to hear people regularly complain about the wrongs they suffer. Every day saying they are getting over it, yet still posting "pity me" comments. It would be nice, if they could move onward - quietly. Constant whining garners little sympathy and like the boy who cried "wolf, when something major happens and they need a friend to listen, well ... friends have the right to run in the other direction.

Whose Job Is It?

If I am the victim of a rapist, assaulter, racist or homophobic, I suffer not only the pain and suffering inflicted upon me, but I also have to fight to get justice and change the behaviour of the perpetrators.

Perpetrators have many tactics. They present themselves as victims. They often portray themselves as honest, accomplished, christian people. They rely on societal norms to support their behaviour. And worse, they take no responsibility for their actions, calling their victims liars.

I don't believe that we should always, unequivocally, believe those who say they are victims. My argument is that people can and will lie for nefarious reasons. But, I also believe that most victims have suffered at the hands of others.

So whose job is it to change this imbalance of justice? The media takes some responsibility to present the victim's side. Groups form to tackle the problem with their own agendas. Researchers publish papers. Authors write books. And one President tweets. I would argue that long term benefits have not materialized from these attempts. So what will it take?

That's the dilemma. The more victims protest, the louder and stronger the opposition. The good news, I hope, is that these oppositional folks are not the majority. If true, then is it up to the majority to speak up, to join  those willing to fight for the change they want. That means putting the job on us, the average person, the majority who want change. Whose job is it? The answer is mine and yours. Choose your weapon. Mine is writing. What's yours?

Sexual Assault - Something to think about.

Men and women, boys and girls, all can be victims of sexual assault. This is why we need to have open conversations with all of the above about sexual assault. There's so much to consider. However there are three topics we tend to omit from the discussion.

• What exactly constitutes an assault? 
• Do males need to have masculinity redefined? 
• The common denominator in many rapes is extreme drunkenness. Is alcohol usage something we should factor into the discussion?                                                                                                                                                        Let's talk.

Why I'm not #MeToo


When it comes to sexual assault, it doesn't seem like in the #MeToo narrative, Black women who told their stories are anywhere in there, nor the Black women who have spoken out about Harvey Weinstein and others. Mostly invisible, they've been shut out like their voices don't matter. Their choice is to go it alone and be condemned or join a movement and be ignored. My perception is that #MeToo is not about all women, just some women.

What Black women are forced to endure has little support. Janet Jackson, Venus and Serena Williams, Michelle Obama, Maxine Waters, Rhianna, Frederica Wilson and Leslie Jones are constantly suffering racist attacks. In N.S. accounts by women like El Jones verifies the same treatment. White women do not come out in droves to speak about racism. Few are to be found in the Black Lives Matter movement though Black men and women are being murdered by law enforcement officers. Colin Kaepernick suffers a nearly insurmountable amount of ridicule for standing up for justice.

Black people have a role to play in side this dynamic.They can't remain bystanders waiting for a saviour. Our lives depend on action in a society, again, becoming increasingly racist. We have to fight with our feet, our pens and our voices. This is not a time to be passive and rely on goodwill and the gains we've made. It can all vanish in the twinkling of an eye, depending on who the power structures are.

Until Black women are shown respect and love, I prefer to go it alone by speaking up and drawing out the insincerity and double-standards. What we must all do is remain alert.

A new party in Canada 

In Canada, as in other parts of the world, we're experiencing the new fascist wave which disapproves of multiculturalism, immigrants, refugees and globalism. This concerns me as a person of color. It appears this new people's party will focus on Canadian "values,"(as if they are different from the intrinsic values of most human beings on the planet). This values crap, in my opinion, is a cover for fear and a dislike, even hate of other racial, religious and cultural groups. Likely a fear of having to forego power and privilege which will, admittedly, take a big bit out of white dominance and force us all to compete for resources. I agree, scary stuff, but it's inevitable as white people realize they are the minority on the planet of 7.5 billion people and over 5 billion are people of color who will no longer submit to Eurocentric rule or stay put.

People must think carefully, not emotionally. Can we figure out a new, all encompassing ideology for our country and ways for all of us to transition into it? Many Canadians say they feel disenfranchised, but here's a chance to engage and create new ideas instead of looking to the past where the norms no longer apply.

So what would electing the people's party mean for the prosperity and sustainability of a huge country like Canada with currently only 36 million people, roughly the population of California? Will those feeling threatened by change participate in this new party or will they let the leader of the party rule with impunity as Republicans are doing down below?

It sure looks like all the phobias and isms are gathering under one umbrella. How could that be a good thing for this country?

My thoughts on diversity won't earn me praise, but it will free my soul.

The 2018 Emmy Awards made a mockery of diversity ... again. And again, I was rattled by the insincerity and outright defiance of changing their long held biases.

Diversity, as I see it, is a convenient term to escape accusations of racism, or sexism, or homophobia or any other ism, except consumerism. It's shallow and limited in scope and application. It slyly continues as tokenism while flaunting a very limited acceptance of the world.

Under its umbrella, minorities are still not fully accepted or respected in large numbers. Few reap the benefits of fame, power and money. Within our power structures the practice of oneness continues where one or several are favoured within the "other" group to represent the rest. This token gesture supports the belief that just a few people within these groups are capable of greatness or normalcy.That the dominant group remains the ideal and is superior in all ways.

One must consider that because the dominant group own, build, promote and control the institutions, they deserve the rights and privileges exclusively, failing to realize others have contributed, taxes, labour and ideas. If diversity has one benefit, it is that it promotes the idea that the world is diverse. The downside is that those using the term have failed to promote acceptance, excellence, other ways of seeing and thinking or real competition. The rewards or awards keep circulating within their own group.

Once claiming diversity, no effort is required to bring about equality. If those outside push back, they get knocked back harder. If they have sympathizers, few will speak out. Does that mean they give up, stop trying and be silent? No, I think they must continue to challenge in any sensible way they can. Any tiny gain is like a magic dinosaur egg. It starts out small, but keeps expanding until it's fully grown.

Check out the nonsense around diversity at the Emmys.
https://www.facebook.com/HuffPost/videos/273742053114090/?t=14

Prayed for rain and now that it's here, well, you know the drill. I want it gone. It's funny how weather is the one thing that determines what I wear, how I feel - especially how my arthritis acts up in my right knees, and my mood. Being a Leo, the sun rules me. That explains everything.

I've started the week by coming down with laryngitis. This means a week of croaking, trying to restrain from having input into conversations and cutting my time short on the phone. For me this is a calamity, for my friends, probably a blessing. Hoping my followers are all well.

Welcome back.
Check in frequently to see what I'm up to and how I'm doing. Life is full of adventures and surprises. I'm looking forward to my share and hearing about yours.

I never tire of visiting our beautiful Public Gardens, then stopping by Bud the Spud for crispy fries and maybe a hot dog at the vendor next door. It's been a great summer. This was the year my daughter, her husband and two sons came from Edmonton. My brother and his wife from B.C. and my regular visitor, my son from Hinton. If I'd been smart, I would have tried to coordinate the visits for one big happy reunion. Maybe next time.